Tasks of grieving and how you can ease your hurting:

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Accept the reality of the loss.

• Accept the grief and work through it. It will be painful, but it must be experienced.Trying to be brave and strong is not helpful. Let the grief flow! 

• Talk about it. That urge to say your loved one's name over and over again, and to tell everyone about him or her, is a natural instinct that we are given to help in the healing process. Find a listening ear and tell your story over and over again. The more it is told, and the easier it is to tell, means that healing is taking place. 

Experience the pain of grief.

• Cry as often and ·as much as needed. Liquid emotions are one of the major healing factors in grief.
• If you cannot talk, write down your feelings in a journal. Writing is just talking put into words; it is still an expression.
• Deal with any imagined guilt. Those "if only I had" feelings must be dealt with for you to move on in healing. For real guilt, seek professional help so that you can move on.
• Take care of your body. Eat well. Grief depletes the body of calcium, vitamin D and phosphorous, so replenish your body through daily foods such as salads and green leafy vegetables for phosphorous, milk for calcium, and walks in the sunshine for vitamin D.Regular exercise is important too - even if it is just a walk around the block each day.
• Get professional help from a therapist if you are stuck in some emotion (anger, depression, guilt) that prohibits you from functioning in your activities of daily living. 

Adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing.

• Avoid major decisions regarding your life for at least a year following the death of your loved one. Even longer may be necessary.
• Know and accept that the "normal" you, the person you used to be, has changed. Don't equate healing with being again like you used to be. 

Reinvest emotional energy into other relationships and activities.

• Get busy doing something for someone else. Volunteer work, church work, and especially being with other bereaved persons who need you. Turning your own "hurts" into "helps" is guaranteed to lighten your own burden. It also makes you feel some human emotion again; it feels good to do something for someone else. We all need to feel good instead of feeling bad all the time.   

Taken from:ALIVE HOSPICE                                                                                   

Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy J. William Worden Springer Publishing, 1991